Upon an inquiry: What did you think when..

This is what Charisse told me when I asked her what she thought when i asked her to be my dance partner. It is a love story:

ok
well
I had noticed you pretty early on in the class
your name stuck because you actually seemed to have a personality
but the fact that you did have an apparent personality, and did seem outgoing and confident etc. etc.
meant that while I knew who you were, I didn't enter you into the realm of possibility as far as any kind of relationship with me (dance partner or otherwise)
"out of my league," I suppose
which is why I was shocked when you suddenly asked me to be your partner
(well when I say "out of my league" I don't mean necessarily that I thought you were in a Better league ;);) , just that you were in a league other than my own, whatever that is/was)
ok. so now tell me about when i asked you to be my date
ok
so I was walking to the testing center, having just gotten out of class
to my latin test
and I don't remember why I turned on my phone, but I did
and then it started vibrating in my hand, telling me there was a message
so I went to voicemail and the number was one I definitely didn't recognize
and then I heard your voice
you were like, "Hi Charisse, this is Cory, your DanceSport dancing partner, and I was wondering..."
and at this point I'm thinking, 'oh, he probably wants to get together to practice'
but then you continued to say something to the effect of "if you're free on Saturday night, and if you are, if you would like to go on a date with me"
and I didn't stop walking, but my brain kind of did.
and went, ?????
because again, this possibility had never occurred to me
nevermind that I had (I think) never before been straight-up asked out by someone I barely knew
I was impressed by your bluntness
and rather wished I hadn't missed your call
ok so I decided, my brain suddenly being in half-broken mode, that I would wait until after the test to call you back
so I took the test
was ridiculously distracted
kept getting this funny feeling in my stomach every time I thought about it
but finished the test nonetheless
and then...I don't remember the details of when I called you, whether I did it on my way back or waited until i was in the apt
but you didn't answer
(*looks at you*)
which was sort of a relief, sort of not
so I left a message (which I hate doing, as you may have noticed)
that night dinner group was at the other apartment
but I made sure to take my phone with me and keep it within hearing distance
I of course explained nothing to them beforehand, and then when you DID call back, in the middle of dinner, I (got a stupid grin on my face) and disappeared back to the bathroom to answer
which I did
and...it was slightly awkward, as I recall
but I figured it would work out, one way or another, and when you told me what you actually had PLANNED, you unfortunately couldn't see the grin on my face
I was like, Shakespeare? Seriously? Where did you COME from? (And will you take me there?)
and I don't really remember anything else about the conversation, to be honest
though I think you explained about Eric coming down with a girl he liked
yes well, when you asked if I knew much about Shakespeare and I said "yes" and then you asked "a lot?" and I said "yes" I wondered if you would think I was being pretentious...
and for some reason I decided to just be perfectly honest
kind of like I decided, as i was trying to figure out what to wear TO said date, that I wasn't going to worry about it, and I wasn't going to do a lot of makeup, because I wanted to be comfortable, and I wanted to look like the Normal Me.
and apparently it worked
so anyway, I after the phone call I went back to the dinner table (grinning, gosh darn it)
and announced that I had a date that weekend
and everyone was slightly shocked but appropriately happy for me
it was more along the lines of, 'when did THIS happen?'
i remember being nervous before class on Friday
wondering if anything was going to be different

(Cory: and it was! because you were in love)

which I...don't think it was? Blast me for not having recorded every detail as it occurred...

I love you now
and I was pretty darn close by Monday morning
ok. Saturday.
I was getting ready and at one point realized I had ANOTHER message on my phone
which was from you
and my heart fluttered and slightly sank at the same time, half giddy that you'd called again and half afraid there was some kind of problem
and then you asked me what kind of pizza I preferred, and informed me that if I didn't respond, you would derive my pizza tastes from my dancing
...and I think that is actually the point where I realized that I could totally fall for you.
so I went on grinning as I got ready (letting you derive pizza tastes as you would)
and then I fought with myself and was all antsy over when to actually leave, since I was, as always, ready too early and had to wait until I could leave and arrive at a more appropriate time
so then I did leave, and I parked on the stupid street that wraps around the complex
and then called you to say I'd arrived and to ask you where in the heck your apartment actually was
I remember seeing you come around the corner where the sign is
and then there was probably some semi-awkward exchange at this point, but it has disappeared from my memory
not least by the fact that I then got to meet your Jeep for the first time!
and you opened my door for me
which was major points for you
and then we headed for Nick's
I think it was on the way there that I asked if your Jeep had a name, to which you responded in the negative
and you were pleased when I said that I never understood the fetish for naming inanimate objects
So we went to Nick's, and you introduced me to Nick himself
who informed me how lucky I was to be on a date with you
I agreed with him, of course
so we sat down at a table to wait for the pizza to actually be ready, and we talked for a bit
about where you went on your mission
and about the random languages we spoke
our majors, where we were from, etc.
I remember (because I was embarrassed) telling you about Harvard too, since you asked where I learned Irish
and wouldn't let me dodge by just saying "Boston"
ok so I don't remember anything else we said specifically
but then we got the pizza and headed back to the apt
so, more about that
all the food/drinks stuff was out on the coffee table, and you and I claimed the smaller couch
and I went straight for the Dr Pepper
and the pizza was amazing
and I remember your red mug was on the table
which is how I learned how you spelled your name

(Cory: did you think of me when we were watching the movie? or were you otherwise diverted?)

Dear, you were sitting about a foot away from me
I was HYPER-aware of you

(Cory: i was curled in a ball most of the time. eating pizza off my knees)

not the entire time
because I remember noticing distinct opportunities when you could possibly have done something like, oh, taken my hand...
and of course I was sitting there wondering whether or not to make it available... always a trick
by the way, I think I've mentioned this before, and it's not because I would do this with anyone (past experience proves otherwise), but I would totally have kissed you that first date
...if you asked, that is
anyway
so we finished watching the movie
and i had to jet off to (stupid stupid) work
and you were up doing something or other and I didn't really know how to leave without it being awkward so I thought, ok, I'm just going to do it like it's the most normal thing in the world, so as everyone was starting in on the clean-up thing I went to the door and said bye
and you were like, "are you off to work?" and I said "yeah"
and no, we didn't talk again until monday
which I distinctly recall because I agonized all day Sunday
so Saturday night at work I spent the whole time resisting the urge to announce to everyone that I'd just had a fabulous first date
Sunday's agony revolved around the fact that I was in serious danger of falling for you
but I had no idea if you were actually interested in me
if the date had just been a for-fun and favor-for-your-brother thing
and if you'd only called me because you conveniently already had my number
having acquired it in an entirely different context
so I called Emily and flailed a bit, told her about the date and how cool you were
and how I very much wanted you to like me and very much hoped you would call again...
oh, Sunday I also consulted stalker-net to find out what your last name was
I went through the list of every Cory at BYU to see which one was from Maryland
so that I could see if you were on facebook
subsequently friend you
and thereby hint that I was interested in getting to know you better
and then Monday came
anyway, Monday, which is possibly my favorite part
so I went to class, still internally flailing over what (if anything) was going to happen between us
and I didn't really know if it would be ok / I could convince myself to go right up and start talking to you
I think you came to class after I did anyway
but then YOU came up to ME
and you gave me a daisy
and all my anxiety completely disappeared

(Cory: and then you had no idea what to do with it! so you put it in your pocket!)

well I didn't want to go stick it in/on my bag
since even though it would have been safer for the daisy, I wanted to keep it with me
like, RIGHT with me
so I had the daisy in my pocket, proof that you WERE in fact interested in me
and I was really genuinely disappointed and sad when it ended up decapitated
but I subsequently immortalized it with a sketch in my journal
ok
so the rest of Monday is a blur until my phone rang that night
and it was you (your name was entered by then, so the phone told me so before I answered, which means I was smiling before I answered)
and said you wanted to go to Starbucks, and wanted to know if I wanted to go with you
so I answered honestly with an "I would love to."
so then you came and picked me up, and you opened my door for me again :):), and we went and actually...didn't get hot chocolate
we both got the caramel apple cider
was it raining?
because there was some reason why the outside tables weren't satisfactory in relation to the weather
so we went back in
only to discover there were no open tables...
ah
yes, it being February and all
so we ended up grabbing a couple chairs that were stacked against the wall
and sat there and talked about Rembrandt and music and concerts we'd been to...
and a bunch of other stuff I can't list off the top of my head
but by the way, the Starbucks itself also earned you serious points
as you may recall me saying in my livjournal, "Shakespeare AND Starbucks? Have I fallen into some kind of alternate universe? One that actually likes me?"
I was really happy
and the more we talked the more excited I was to talk to you, and to learn more about you
and the easier it was to talk to you
surprisingly so, in fact
but then pretty much everything about you was delightfully surprising
and it's so strange now to imagine us ever not knowing each other
and then Tuesday morning when you left that message for me on facebook...
I was more than a little bit thrilled
and more than a little bit endeared by your exempting yourself from any possible rules that might have prevented you from contacting me again so soon
it gave me enough time to come to the conclusion that i absolutely without question DID want to see you again
and when I went to bed Monday night I was really disappointed knowing that the next day was Tuesday
because that meant I had no guarantee of seeing you
and I was afraid I was going to have to wait all the way until class on Wednesday
it was going to be a very long Tuesday if that were the case
but!
then you showed up in my inbox
saying "tuesdays aren't that bad" in response to my status and then suggesting we do dinner.
and suddenly Tuesday was a glorious thing
and I worked up the nerve to ask if you would come to the Welsh movie with me
and I remember going to your place that evening, and tasting your aunt's cooking for the first time
(enchiladas)
and we talked about our families and what our parents did for a living
ok so skipping to my favorite part of the evening
the part however-long into the long depressing Welsh film
where you leaned over and asked if you could hold my hand
and you remember what I said?

(Cory: yes, but i want to know what you said in your mind)

I'm pretty sure those were the exact and first words in my head
"do you really have to ask"
but emotion-wise, I was non-linguistically thinking, Finally...
because I really couldn't imagine it wasn't BLATANTLY obvious by then that something like that would be more than acceptable
and you looked away for a second and then looked back and said, "Yes."
So I smiled and said, "Then yes."
And then you did.
(my heart goes fluttery thinking about it even now)
(that first time our hands touched)
my second most favorite part of the evening
was as we were walking out of the movie
and before we were even out of the building, you'd taken my hand again like it was the most natural thing in the world
and it surprised me
in yet another are-you-sure-this-can-get-any-better kind of way
I thought it was perfect
it perhaps meant more than it should have, but it really meant a lot
(we totally skipped over the you-falling-down-the-stairs-after-Starbucks, but the way)
ok so I'm in the apartment grinning having just shut the door after you and a few seconds later there's this THUD.
Audrey is sitting on the couch and I stare at her for a minute, and I'm like...'was that...?'
so I open the door and lean over the railing
and there you were
and to be honest, I'm laughing at you again right now
because it was freaking hilarious
though I did feel a little bad that I couldn't even stop laughing long enough to ask if you were ok, so it came out all hilarified
but again, as always, i was endeared
there you were at the bottom of the stairs and I don't remember exactly what it looked like because I was laughing so hard there were tears in my eyes making everything kind of blurry
yes, that
maybe it was the "bloody hell" that made me laugh so hard
ok anything else we need to go over about Monday night or can I tell you the other important thing about Tuesday?
(yes. i want to know if you were thinking of me when you were lying in bed trying to sleep. that night)
I missed you.
And it was the weirdest thing, because we'd really only known each other TWO DAYS and only barely that
but I was dying to see you again
ok
so when you dropped me off Tuesday night, we had our first real hug
we kind of hugged Monday night, but it was an awkward not-sure-how-to-deal-with-this-exactly kind of hug
Tuesday night all that was gone
and I got to really feel your arms around me for the first time